"Sloane Kathleen" A beautiful name... Part 2 (Kathleen)

Aunt Kathy 

Disclaimer:  I know it's been a few weeks since I have made a post. I haven't felt well at all (nasty head cold and a stomach bug back to back will slow you down). The weather has been crazy, but most importantly, I knew the story that would follow in this post would be incredibly difficult to write, emotionally.  It would also be a longer post than some of the others. There is just no way to edit some of what goes into this out. So please bear with me and read all the way to the end.  I have pushed through all the difficulties, however, and hope you enjoy the result.  I miss my Aunt Kathy every single day and simply wish we could talk again for hours. I know someday soon, in Heaven, we will have our day! Love you, Aunt Kathy, I hope you are proud of Sloane and me.  

I am not sure when it happened exactly. I cannot pick a date on a calendar, a certain holiday party to note, or even a perfect family get together. I do know though at some point my Aunt Kathy became my favorite person ever (outside of Sloane, my own parents, and brother). I'm assuming it happened when I was a small child because we had our own spots on "the couch" (more on the couch later) that we shared for as long as I can remember. I sat next to my Aunt Kathy on that couch and she sat next to me. That was just how it was, and it was understood by the whole family. As simple as it was, it was something I looked forward to every year. I knew I was going to spend most of the day talking to my favorite person.  From the time it happened and the spots were claimed we never had to worry about someone sitting in our spots, because, well obviously those were "our" spots.

The couch or Davenport as my grandpa referred to it, as noted above belonged to my grandparents and was at least 30 years old the first time I ever even thought to ask how old it was.  It was that couch that you are only allowed to sit on one day a year. You know the one, it is usually in that perfect front room that everyone sees and no one touches or goes into, and is in such perfect shape it looks like it was just purchased. Well, that is until you looked at the upholstery and realized it went out of style years ago, but man was that couch comfortable.  It was so comfortable that I asked for it in my inheritance at the age of 7 or 8, but as I got older the couch just wouldn't work in the home I purchased, and it was sold. That couch was and still is the most amazing couch I have ever slept on or sat on.

Technically, most of the things in my grandparent's house had gone out of style years ago, but it didn't matter because my grandmother kept everything immaculate.  Honestly, the best job in the world was probably being my grandparent's housekeeper, because they paid well and their house was never dirty!  Anyways, I digress, the perfect room as I like to refer to it was where we spent every Christmas day/afternoon/evening of my childhood. Christmas time at the Paul house was always an exciting time, but when you got all of the Paul's together and all of the Paul men in one house it was an excellent time.  I  am the baby of the family and that definitely comes with its challenges in a house full of men. This lead to my initial attraction to my Aunt's company. She put up with me and made me feel important and not like the baby of the family. We shared secrets, stories, and the knowledge that I was indeed her favorite nephew. A knowledge that most definitely my brother shared as well. She was good like that. She probably told him the same thing, and I am sure we both believed it.

Kathy and I had a chemistry that just meshed perfectly with each other. I know at times I had to have driven her crazy or even disappointed her immensely, but she never showed this or made me feel this way as a child.  She gave the best hugs and always made sure I secretly had a hidden Christmas present tucked away to win the family present game. The concept of the game, which was never really a game, but was played every year by myself, my brother Charlie, and my cousin Bruce, was whoever opened the last present of the day won.  This is a game that my brother and I are still playing now with our children. My brother even all of these years later believes he won this game many times, but to what will be a big surprise for him and to my audience (I am dropping a world exclusive bomb on you) is I actually won a lot of those games for many years because my Aunt and I devised a secret plan. That plan was to hold back a present every year and to sneak it to me before I left, thus knowing I would win the game and not letting Charlie in on the surprise.  She knew to beat my brother at anything made me feel really good about myself, and I didn't even need him to know, because I knew. Surprise, Charlie!

My aunt Kathy was so important to me that I spent my 21st birthday with her at her retirement party.  She was an elementary school teacher and her and my uncle retired at the same time to move to Louisville with my cousin and his family to be grandparents.  Being a grandparent was probably one of her favorite things, it definitely blessed her and lit her world up. Back to the party, you may say, whats the big deal? I am sure you went out afterwards. No I didn't go out afterwards, I didn't go party, and I didn't regret it one minute. See, I left the next day for Texas and spent  the next 3 months there.  I knew it would be a long time before I saw her and my Uncle again and I didn't want to miss there retirement party.  I am not exactly sure when in our timeline it happened, but shortly after this party, I found out my favorite person ever had terminal cancer. Not even four short years later she was gone. My aunt passed away the day I received and graduated with my masters degree. We talked all the time about my degree and how proud she was of me for becoming a teacher like her and my uncle. She told me all the time she would be at my graduation and that she would make it because it was very important to her. As I am crying now writing this and reminiscing of that time, I know that she battled furiously, and in my book she won that challenge. Even though she didn't make it to the ceremony in person, the fact that she passed on that date is symbolic to how courageous this woman was, and I know she was there in spirit. I definitely felt her presence. She kept her promise in my eyes that's for sure.

Kathleen Paul

PAUL, KATHLEEN, 60, passed away Saturday, May 1, 2010.

She was an elementary school teacher in Richmond, IN prior to retiring to Louisville.

She was a member of Christ Lutheran Church.

Mrs. Paul is preceded in death by her father, Cleophas Sanders; and sister, Karen Sherman.

She is survived by her mother, Dolores Sanders; husband, Larry Paul; son Bruce Paul (Amy); three sisters Leanne Gilbert, Barbara Robertson and Kim Faulstich; two grandchildren Alexander and Emily; and a host of nieces and nephews. 

That was such a terrible phone call.  

My aunt Kathy's long battle with Cancer finally claimed her life, it was a bittersweet and sad time. I can still remember where I was and what I was doing when I received this call. I was very upset, but happy that my aunt was finally at peace and in Heaven where she so desperately wanted to be.  I was beyond proud of the battle she waged against this evil, but I was still shook. I never took for granted the times I saw her after I found out she had cancer, and I constantly talked to her and shared things, but I knew at that time my favorite person was on borrowed time.

Aunt Kathy and Uncle Larry with Emily Paul. The first female grandchild in quite a few generations.

This story wouldn't be complete if I didn't give some love to my Uncle Larry as well.  The love that he shows for his grandchildren, and that he shows to his great nieces and nephew is tremendous. I love you Uncle Larry and am so thankful you are still here and in our lives.

The name..

Sloane Kathleen Paul

Part 3 to be continued....soon!

Authors Note:

I have my aunt's personal Bible and as I was writing this blog I prayed over the Bible and asked for the strength to share this story appropriately and accurately in a way that might inspire others, and in doing so was blessed by the Lord with the word Grace.  As I opened her bible on one of the first pages I saw she had Grace written in there and had it circled and underlined. This is what it said: (How fitting) Grace is a touch of truth that lets you see the world in a new way. It's a gift that can only be felt when you are open enough to accept it.  

Message received Aunt Kathy, message received Lord! 

Thanks for reading my blog. I hope you are enjoying it. There is definitely more to my aunt Kathy and I's story that I wanted to share, but I just couldn't find an accurate way to explain it.  I hope now, though, you realize how important she was to me, and that Sloane being as vibrant and loving as she is as, Sloane Kathleen is an awesome Godly reminder of this beautiful person, who was my Favorite Person!  

I love you Aunt Kathy and cannot wait to see you in Heaven!